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The following lawsuits have been filed recently in various court jurisdictions throughout the State of Illinois.

Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

Three Kane County inmates do not like the food the jail is serving. They are suing the county jail for $2 million, saying the food, which is already eaten by the jail's employees, is inedible.

Suing Yourself?!

A Fairview Heights mother is suing herself, in addition to an ambulance driver, for negligent driving that permanently injured her infant son two years ago. The woman seeks more than $50,000 in damages to pay for her son's medical expenses and future care. It is still unclear how a judge can determine if she pays herself.

Don't cut my budget or I'll sue

The Bureau County Clerk apparently has a beef with the Bureau County Board. The Board, the elected representatives of the people in charge of the county's budget, cut her budget by nearly $18,000. The County Clerk is now suing the Board to recoup the lost money.

Raging Bull

A Naperville dentist is suing Benny the Bull, the longtime mascot of the Chicago Bulls after his arm was hyperextended as he was trying to give Benny a high five at a Bulls game on Feb. 2008. Benny apparently grabbed the dentist's arm and accidentally fell forward, injuring the dentist. The dentist claims he will have to miss at least 4 months of work and he wants money for medical bills, physical pain and lost wages.

Where the sidewalk ends

A Lake Forest couple sued the city because they claimed the city had no right to install a 170-foot-long and five-foot-wide sidewalk in front of their house. They then tore it out last November and now the city has filed suit against them. They claim they do not want the sidewalk for privacy reasons. Of course, in light of this lawsuit, the front of their house has been pictured in the Chicago Tribune and other newspapers. So much for privacy.

Manhole Mayhem

A woman delivering newspapers in Ottawa fell into a manhole when she stepped out of her car. Apparently the bars had been removed from the drain and she "fell with great force." She is seeking at least $50,000 in a lawsuit against the city.

Woman slips and sues

A woman is suing Bi-State Development Agency, doing business as Metro, when she slipped and fell trying to board a Metro train at the East St. Louis Station. She claims the Bi-State Development Agency failed to warn her that the entrance was not safe and failed to get rid of the water from the train's entrance for an unreasonably long period of time. The suit filed in St. Clair County claims she will in the future "endure a great deal of pain and emotional suffering."

Fireworks Mishap

An Illinois man is suing a fireworks company after he was shot in the eye for an allegedly malfunctioning firework he shot off in Long Grove. The man wants more than $600,000 for the mishap. He says the fireworks company did not provide enough safety instructions or proper warnings about the danger of the product.

Don't Tase Me Bro!

A man was convicted of multiple robberies and is serving time in a Kentucky jail. He sued the DeWitt County Sheriff and Champaign police because he hurt his foot in a fall he says was caused by the use of a stun gun in his arrest outside a Champaign apartment building.

Yoga instructor well schooled in the ways of the Force

A woman is filing a lawsuit against a yoga instructor and the Northbrook YMCA that employs the teacher. She claims the instructor "grabbed and maneuvered" her body in an unsafe manner. She claims the YMCA did not properly review the instructor's qualifications and that the instructor did not provide any warning before "grabbing her." Not going back for more yoga instruction she is.

Here's your sign

A Chicago attorney is upset with the City of Chicago for not posting signs about the Windy City's law against driving and talking on cell phones. His suit asks the city to return the $2 million in fines collected since the law went into effect in 2005.

Walking on broken glass

A Yorkville patron at an Ottawa strip club threw a glass at a dancer. The glass shattered on the stage and the man is facing charges of assault and disorderly conduct. The man, though, is suing the strip club claiming two employees injured him by hitting him and kicking him. He also claims they did not do enough to protect him from other hostile patrons. Witnesses say the situation was handled properly.

What's in a name?

A low-income transgender from Will County wants to change her name from Donald to Duann. She is taking her case all the way to the Illinois Supreme Court, claiming she has been denied due process because the circuit court refused to allow her file a petition the name-change petition and refused to waive the $273 filing fee. The transgender woman cannot afford the nearly $500 to change her name and says she is being shut out of the judicial process because of her financial circumstances.

Tough crowd

A woman is suing Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Studios after allegedly being pushed down a flight of stairs as people rushed to claim their seats during a taping of the talk show. The woman claims Harpo Studios was negligent for not controlling the crowd and allowing studio guests to seat themselves.

Second-Hand Asbestos?

A Connecticut woman filed suit against 52 defendants in Madison County Circuit Court, IL, claiming she was exposed to airborne asbestos fibers from her step-father's clothing. The woman says her step-father would carry the asbestos dust on his clothing home with him where it would again become airborne.

Mold Case

Two inmates at the Kane County jail are suing the county sheriff and the Kane County Health Department claiming mold has spread through the aging facility. The suit comes less than a year from the scheduled opening of a brand new 640-bed jail facility.

Stuck in a moment you just can't get out of

A man is suing a roller rink in Tinley Park because when he went to use the facility's bathroom, he got locked in the bathroom stall and could not get out. He claims he suffered "severe and permanent injuries." His wife is also seeking damages for loss of consortium and society of her husband.

Born to run

A Cook County judge has filed a lawsuit to challenge a state law restricting judges from running for re-election after age 75. He claims age is irrelevant to service in office. The judge's attorney says judges have age limitations other office holders in Illinois do not have. Governor Rod Blagojevich and certain officials on the Illinois State Board of Elections are named in the suit.

Don't drink the water

A Will County woman is suing a repairman after she drank battery acid from a bottle the repairman left in her house. The repairman was working on her sump pumps and left a gallon water jug, a liter water container and a bottle with a ginger ale label on it. The repairman intended to return the next day and install the pump. She drank from one of the bottles thinking it was water and it ended up being full of battery acid. The woman is also suing the store involved in the sale of the battery acid to the repairman.

Lawsuit Lunacy in America

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